Love for you coming from New Zealand.We are lying here early in the morning in the hospice thinking and talking about you.
My favourite Children's book is called 'going on a Bear Hunt' I like the bit where the characters are contemplating going through a big mud pool.They cant go over it or around it, they have to go through it. I always think of grief as like this mud pool. It is risky and messy and leaves stains. It isn't something you choose to do and it is difficult to keep your footing, but eventually you get through.
Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. Kat - thank you for sharing this analogy. It really made me pause and think, and helped me.
I am pleased.I find it really helpful. I often use story and metaphor in order to understand where things are. If I try to think too much about the reality,I forward think and don't stay present and then the panic starts.
Story is a way for me to connect wider and imagine in a different way. Frodo and Sam Gangee are good too..that last climb up the mountain when Sam has just been pushed away by Frodo and he remembers why he was here and how much Frodo and the quest means and he pushes through rescues and carries Frodo.That is good too.I never thought I would ever use a Rings metaphor more of Narnia girl..but it keeps popping up. x KAT
I dont know that story is where I am at present, but the mud pool still resonates. No overwhelm just lots of whelm. Went to the bank today to sort stuff ,drop things at the funeral directors, some art supplies for a course ( my hearts not in it yet but I will start anyway and see where it takes me) Part of my distraction plan. One inch at a time. Hana and Zach helped me, they seemed to know alot about spray cans and nozzles hmm.
Hana and both heard Gary loudly and clearly today saying the same thing at the same time.Zach hummed bright eyes out of the blue didn't know why... didn't know where it came from and didn't know anything about the song or my journal entry. Said it just popped into his head. The fantails are back calling to me this morning.
Zach and I had fish and chips for tea, watched Game of Thrones and had baths.