I read a magazine article recently about a family whose mother and wife had passed away. The husband was quoted as saying ' we didn't keep the clothes, they meant nothing to us, thats not how we remember her, she is in our hearts'. I thought ' Gosh that certainly simplifies things' and thats not me.
I tidied some of Garys clothes into a suitcase which I have stored in my wardrobe and only the ones that are usually in drawers that I don't see. I carefully buttoned his shirts so they wouldn't fall off hangers and hung them back where they live, right next to his extravagant jackets.
I tidied his dressing gown and found a hanky in the pocket. I left it there for the moment.
This weeks low points were not this as you might think, I prepared myself for this. What I wasn't prepared for was my Dr giving me a details slip to update my next of kin.
Picking up my second lot of anti-biotics this year (first time in over 20) for a chest infection, driving myself home cleaning the bench doing the dishes, making dinner and cleaning the bath so I could have one. Taking care of myself by myself. The everydayness of being. This undid me too.
Last night I felt I just needed someone to look after me. I wanted to stop doing anything and just go to bed. I am feeling a bit exhausted with the role of Wonder woman and would prefer a sidekick role. It is self inflicted.
What I need to do is Let go Let go Let go and recount my blessings or at least hold them close for a while.
I went to a talk on Saturday night at our local hall. It was great Peter Hayden and Rod Morris talking about their latest adVenture. I bought one for Dad for his birthday. And I won Paddy Richardson's latest novel which I am delighted with. I wanted to read it.Finishing this post off this morning with that book packed in my bag and off to ChCh for the weekend. Quite nervous about being out of the house and away from it but am taking Zach with me to share driving and for some company.
Big frost out my window so will drive very very smart
x
Big frost out my window so will drive very very smart
x
Love to you and hoping you have a lovely SAFE time out of the house....we are visiting your beautiful North Island this week...enjoying our recharge time that is needed once in a while...I can only try and imagine how hard it is to look after oneself..I don't think I would be very good at it all. xxx
ReplyDeleteAre you back home yet or spending some of the school holidays in CHCH? Have a little printing press set up in the lounge where it is warmer if you want to come and print some cards.
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