This is good and in the last week I have had to practice it a few times especially the saying no part. Its hard especially when people want to see you and are kind, but this last week has been a week of weeping and a need to keep to myself. I risk offending people and am still not certain how to be gracious. I am learning humility in peoples ongoing kindness and generosity..its a hard learning curve.
I still get scared speaking up for myself.
In the last week I have been to Chch and back, cooked dinner for a friends birthday and had a day back at work in my old ward.
It was ok. I was fretful about starting, it felt like the beginning of the rest of my life and even though I enjoy working and the work, it was challenging as it really is no longer an option; and its me taking care of me and a few others in my household.
It was hard coming home, last time I worked, I came home to Gaz. The new normal is wearing thin.
Sunday I went to church..couldn't quite pull my self together, came home felt the same and made the decision to head out into the vege garden. As I pulled my hoody on, people arrived who I had to say no to and it was hard.. but a good decision for me as the Garden was so therapeutic. I needed extra daylight hours, as I wanted to stay in it.
I went back today and weeded and mulched and built sides and dug yams. It is almost ready for planting..feels and looks good. My body feels better for moving.
you will fly again Melody Ross