Monday, August 27, 2012

Pet Bananas, Mushy play lists and spring

About two weeks ago Gary called out to me from the kitchen "whats this? ". Me being in the far end of the house called back" I have no idea Gary, I cant see it,what does it look like?'
(This does happen a fair bit these days as Gary goes from A To B purposefully and rarely visits C unless he has to. Too sore, too sick).
He called back "Well its small and its brown... it looks like a Pet Banana".
 I came through to the kitchen rather quickly at that stage as I assumed Gary had taken the wrong medication, but no he was simply making comment on my wee bit of banana that I had left on the bench. I eat small pieces of Banana when I take my glucosamine and fish oil it makes then easier to swallow, so we usually have bits in our fruit bowl. Since Gary has been home he is much more interested in the regular daily activities of the house. 
I looked at him  'Gary, what! are you talking about' He pointed at the banana end and and said ' this this here, your pet banana, it sits around like a pet and hangs about waiting for something to happen, what do you want to do with it?  I got the giggles, examined it (good for another round I thought) and put it back in the fruit bowl.
But since then I have become aware of many other things in our house that the Banana could keep company with. Lots of things that have become pets, but not ones that give much back,like the lovely spacey faithfully purring for Gary each time he lies down. Books furniture magazines and clothes, kitchen stuff.. I started sorting and tidying and chucking stuff out (yes me the recycling queen) out with it..feels good too. I have been gardening (rose pruning and weeding), started some paintings just backgrounding quickly and cooking good food for Gaz.
My kitchen has had a sort out and it feels great, underneath the fridge and those fun jobs.
Gaz got home from his forth round on Saturday, I picked him up and bought him home. So good to be able to do that. I have had good shifts and it has been working out ok. This has been the best round so far as I was off Friday and return to work Wednesday so have been able to be Gary's arms and legs. He really cannot manage on his own until at least Wednesday but muddles through if there is no choice.
The Chemo is working and shrinking the tumours in his Lungs, not all of them and they havnt all disappeared. But there is more time.
Gaz will decide next week whether to continue the chemo. At this stage the oncologist feels that it has done its work and its unlikely to do any more..but nothing is certain and no-one knows, its all estimates and guesswork. (albeit informed guesswork). We will find out if there are any further options of chemo in the future at our appointment.
It is so cruel and while it shrinking tumours and we are 'relieved' I think that is the right word..we are also so so deeply sad. Gary's quality of life at present is marginal. He has no energy and feels sick and tired all the time. There has really no pick up period between chemo cycles like last time. 
The Olympics were a great distraction.
We have been making play list for each other which as I completed mine realized that it is nearly impossible to make a lists of songs that are exactly right and communicate what you want to say... mine was a bit mushy..I have to rejig some. Think I needed a bit of ACDC in it. 
One of songs I put in it was this one by Emmylou Dolly and Linda and its a keeper. I do love it. 

Every day is Bird by Bird.

We had a weekend away in Oamaru a few weeks ago stayed in PEN-Y-BRYN Lodge.
I would recommend it. We took books and slept and read and ate. I didn't know I was so tired until we got there, we both came back feeling like we could face things again and that we had had a real break. The weekend was courtesy of Koorb consulting, a thank you for Gaz for a job. Big thanks to them!
We went out to Mud sweat and tears at Wingatui and watched Zac and Brandon slide around. Had lunch on friends...Kimbo. Kath Paul and Barb..nice chops from Silverfern Farms and salads-Yum. 
Always handy having event orientated generous friends.:-)
Friends and family  have been fantastic, cooking for us, walking my dog, helping with deck plans driving Gaz to chemo when I am working, ringing emailing. I am afraid I am not very good at replying at the moment to texts and enquiries, so I hope this answers and few of those unanswered ones that have passed by.

28.8.12 (the next morning)
Gaz would like me to write that he has decided he has a good quality of life and that it is all relative. He says he is enjoying his food, having good conversations and reading some good books. I am pleased that comment challenged him.We are both enjoying the birds which are in our blossom tree every morning.It is right out side our bedroom window and we can sit with cups of teas and watch them feed on the is very entertaining.At the moment he is looking forward to Port Salute and relish on toast and is quite animated about it.

1 comment:

  1. What a great blog entry - a meaningful read...have been missing you Kat. My heart sprung the other day thinking you had been round to visit as there was a little bit of Mango like fur on the porch - but the next day a stray cat sauntered by - and I could see the fur matched. I know you are busy but if you need a walking buddy one day send a text. :-)


Hi I love to receive comments and will endevour to reply either on this page or your blog.Kat