We talk regularly but I miss her. We were talking today about how it is in this post-traumatic time, our lives in the last couple of years have been very dynamic. Acute trauma has it own peculiarities and ways of response..but the recovery stage is so much broader and higildy pigildy (I had so much trouble trying to spell this; - 0).
We both share the experience of grief and sadness and change..but our circumstances are entirely different.
I was thinking afterwards that hers was so much harder and I don't know how I would have reacted with what she has gone through.(A divorce). I know I would not have been as dignified.
My set of circumstances were held and dictated by a medical model and had prescriptive elements.
But it is in this recovery period that we are yoyoing...there are no defined edges.
I read a psalm two days ago..I think it was 119..and it was praising Gods law..It was very uplifting and I thought of times where as a person I can be rudderless and a bit dangerous really. Reading this Psalm was a good reminder of Gods care and attention to detail and how helpful it can be when 'things' start to fall away and deteriorate.
I also decided that God was making a pearl inside Ruth and I ..or maybe a pearl out of each of us. The trauma feels like it is getting wrapping in functioning layers and is healing..still very accessible though and the layers are yet thin...talking through this reminded me of the effort that goes into making a Pearl and the time and what causes it in the first place..an irritant of some sort - a foreign body. How exciting to open an encrusted gnarly shell and to find one in the wild. The rarity of it.
http://www.bluepearls.com/index.php
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ReplyDeleteRuth Emailed and I liked it! So I have posted it with her permission.
ReplyDelete"This made me cry!!! so much....What beautiful pearls we are becoming:)You are clever and smart and wonderful and I am so pleased to have you as my friend.XxXXXXXXxXx"