It is grounding and enlivening..trying to find the right words here. It makes me feel pleased to have found it. He is a solid clever writer and brings the extra-ordinaryness of God and spiritual matters to life in real terms. I just finished the chapter on C.S. LEWIS and found it very inspiring and a relief actually.
We have a few people in our life at present, who are in the what we would call the more extreme arena of faith. These are good people with good hearts and good intentions but who are also somewhat 'fire-engineish'.
They rush in or come with a sense of urgency and tell us what we need to do to cure Gary, I get targeted first (as if gary cant make up his own mind). And then proceed to tell us what we need to do cure Gaz. We need to pray in this way and attend this meeting, read this scripture.
What I am left this after these visits is the feeling that I am failing. I am not praying the right way, Its my fault Gary has tumours because I think differently to these people and don't do what they do. I logically know this is not the case but it is hard when faced with people who are ' experienced christians '
At every second I ask my self..what are my motivations, what else can I do. I pray in my way every day..maybe it isn't scripturally correct..but it says in scripture that God knows what is in our hearts before we pray it he just wants us to know it. Love and faith like a child seem important. And trust; All things happen to bring us closer to God if we let them.
So while I try to soothe my anxiety in relation to these visits by seeking my own answers through prayer, I am also starting(very tentatively) to find an articulate voice that can answer to them also. Getting firm in my own beliefs...shaky ground and pitfalls abound when you have a loved one who is very sick. I cannot imagine where I would be without God in my life, this process would have torn Gary and I apart. I wasn't strong enough before.
Ayrlies at Whitford. http://www.ayrlies.co.nz/
I have also just read a lovely article in the latest Life and Leisure Magazine about a Garden and its maker. http://nzlifeandleisure.co.nz/ayrliesvideo
It was beautifully written and stitched together. Garden faith life and intent. What to do and how to do it. Made me feel better about where I was. Made me want to Garden and made me want to write. Pretty good really.
The writer (Kate Coughlin ) writes about the owner's (Bev McConnell) faith at the end of article.
Included is some awe-inspiring photography (Tessa Chrisp). What I particularly liked was the practical integration of faith at the end of the article and a reminder that Love is the most important principal of all..she provides an explanation.
'Love is the accurate estimate and supply of someone else's needs'
and of course if unsure' take it to god in prayer' . Made me feel I was doing something right because I can and am doing that.
The line I am left with from the article is
God will not give you anything you cannot handle.
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| leaf walk Otematata |
It is a tough road having a loved one ill ...you are so right though having your own walk with God...I know people mean well but you seek the scriptures yourself and God will reveal it all to you. xxx
ReplyDeleteThanks Bron, I appreciate it.It is a struggle at times, but only with the well meaning people who are not actually connected you in a real way and then launch into what you need to do without actually asking what you are doing or finding out where you are at or what you need.
ReplyDeleteIn contrast to that so many wonderful friends and family helping us in the right way.