So it is December...the third Christmas
without Gary bursting in the door on Christmas Eve sweeping me up with a
come-hither look saying ‘Baby its holiday time…what can I do?
Holidays are so good and essential for
connecting with your significant others.
I am making Christmas dinner this year at
my house as I have done for so many years in the past except for the last two. I am looking forward to connecting with my
family and cooking for them. I have yet to put the tree up but hopefully with
the return of a girl home this weekend it will happen.
I now know the value of doing your own work
and it is critical to do this, if you wish to live a whole-hearted life. This doesn’t necessarily mean that life gets
any less painful, but it does mean that you get to make mistakes, own them and
walk in your own integrity.
This coming year for me holds decisions on
where to live next, as I will be selling the house. What work to do and where? I start my clinical year in Arts therapy and
need to work as an Arts therapist. I
have a few ideas and plans of my own…but they will be self generated and self
starting so take energy…here’s hoping I can fill my tank in this brief summer
on offer.
Something I am thinking about yet again is
the gratitude list which I have started and stopped so many times…I am thinking
each day until Christmas I shall look for something of beauty to take a picture
of and acknowledge at least one thing I am grateful for and why and post up on
face book (of course). One thing I have liked
since the media spotlight on the Paris bombings is the human spirit of resilience that has shone
through in creating a counter balance to fearful living.
I would like to send this challenge out to
anyone who reads this and wants to join in…not sure how to connect all the dots
with this so we can all see each others offerings...if anyone has any bright
ideas? Feel free…maybe we all just stick to adding onto the same post?
The only way to effect change is through
ourselves. The answers are never found
in someone else or from the outside, they come from within and by seeking and
looking deeper into who we are. Not in a
narcissistic way but in a explorative and honouring way, acknowledging and
getting to know ourselves in our entirety and accepting all parts including our
shadow.
Stephanie Dowrick when discussing about the
beginnings of self says that the self-love aspect of narcissism in childhood is
a necessary part of development, and that this is the essential component we
need to carry through into adulthood.
Self-love that, is really seeing all of who we are and accepting it,
it’s a hard ask at times when we stuff up, but worth working on.
I have days or moments in the day when I
know this and the next day I might be tired (or hung-over), at these times, this
feeling absents itself, I am learning to recognize these moments too. Another piece of wisdom this time from Nietzsche
which has held me through darker days is
‘When we are tired, we are undone by things we conquered long ago’.
This year has gone whizz bang…lots of
processing growing and learning. My two
girls are home for a week or so around Christmas (lucky me). Lots of gardening
to do and organizing for next year…and painting..this one is nearly finished..
Happy holidays and summer to all you
beautiful folk who are in my life or passing through..xx
