Some photos, just a few...he would have been 50 and the party would have been huge in true Gary style. Zach and I went to the movies a boys flick and ate some mexican. Gaz would have liked that and I found another tui bottle cap to thumbs up the deal. Shame I don't like to drink it although much better to find them when I need them. The girls were at Waiora scout camp and sent some boats off down the river. Such a hard week to get through. Reminded me of the weeks leading up to scans.
At the Symposium weekend, I met some beautiful people with big hopes, dreams and huge passion for making a difference and helping others. Made some good connections. Feel very peaceful now after this process whatever the outcome. Going away and going to the Symposium and the interviews confirmed for me that Art therapy is a good fit. It is a huge commitment and I am getting my head around what all that means.
Its a wait and see from here- many talented people being interviewed. Somewhere around twenty eight with eight places to be filled. Find out at the end of November.
"...his old coat had life in it still. He lifted it out and slipped his arms into its dark sleeves. Now, as when he was a boy, it looked too big, and yet at the same time it fitted him like a second skin. And like a shamans coat, it was easy for him to conjure up spirits and memories of the past it its embrace. He took Daniels hand and drew a deep breath....
Daniel, the soldiers never found the secret world inside my coat, never noticed the pockets within the pockets. You see this coat has its own magic. But let me start at the beginning.Let me tell you exactly how it happened."
And so it is, the story of the puppet boy..a story within story, that we bring ourselves too. I was sitting at a Cafe table in Kohimarama completely immersed in a Siberian forest when my friend Fifi arrived. She spoke for about 1min I think before I could clear my head from images of forest.
It is a rich full book. Strong metaphor and psychological frameworks. The immediacy of how she started threw me at first. Its not a gentle polished way of starting but tumbles you straight into the book, as you read further, the start makes sense.
It is a book that can travel with you through all aspects of your own life. Being away and negotiating different spaces. Paying attention to my scared self, my without Gary self and reminding myself of my centre and feeling that strength. I was with the characters. I cried when they lost things. I held my breath as they attempted daring missions outside their comfort zone. It was as if I was child again reading Enid Blyton's Five on Kirrin Island. No comparison to the writing and the sophistication but the ability to transport the reader somewhere else.
I read the Book Thief last year and its way of evoking colour from concrete skies ( thanks to Bic Runga for that) and its rawness came to mind. It is a BIG book. I strongly recommend. And if anyone reading this has my Book Thief and Potato Pie Society one..time for their return :-). The Puppet Boy of Warsaw Eva Weaver
A word that has been in my head all year is Move
Keep on moving. I hear Gaz so clearly. I have a picture of him and Zach driving behind me cheering me on when I got back on my bike two summers ago. Gaz was able to bike part of the trip and the rest they drove behind me yelling encouragement. I remember it was hard work and lonely on my bike without Gaz beside me but felt ridiculously pleased to have my own private cheering team.
In the group interview part the facilitator got us to move before we settled to a written and drawing task. Wriggle wriggle..it felt so good and my thinking was much clearer. More peaceful and centered. Bit nervous before that. I have been doing the hokey tokey before I do something creative ever since. It has also reminded me yet again (why do I need so many reminders) of the value of starting your day walking. I have been putting all all these good things in my day when I can but what happened in that session was the connection was made more clearly between mind and body.
It was a privilege to be with Hamish and Amy( nephew and niece) and see them together. Gorgeous young people. Generous and inspiring. They are on a raw food bender and I have come back with a new appreciation of raw and simple.
In one of the classes I attended the tutor shared a wee notebook in which she made a daily mandala. It was something she did to support herself when her friend was dying. I have read about this on many blogs and people are very enthusiastic about its value. I have doodled around a bit with it but never got the hang of what it all meant until this weekend.
Where I tripped up was in the making and the intent....I have started off always traditionally, drawn a largish circle and tried to do even patterns all the way around. I found it ok but a bit boring.
This wee book was filled with circles about the size of a large coffee cup circle and filled with whatever came to mind as the person met the page. From pictures to words to marks..scribbles colour.
It was a way of accessing the subconscious and emptying the mind. The circle was a given and contained space. So I tried it. Its like IDT and how I journal but small and contained. I love it and look forward every morning to seeing what appears on the page.
I bought the small sized jasart notebook. $1.65. Spiral bound. Easy. I flicked it around upside down and glued a retro postcard on the cardboard back and made the plastic front its back. Good if you doodle in coffee shops and the table gets wet.
Cover and first page day 1
Day 4 at PBO coffee shop with Hana
What I also did in my other wee book I carry with me
At church - title of a Laurence Aberhart photo
Pete is painting the house. I have been digging and clearing and gardening around him. Graeme has been repairing and replacing rotten boards and windows. Its starting to feel and look good. Scaffolders in tomorrow and I have a days work this week so far..whew. Pleased about that. Hana and Macker are off to Circulation at Whare flat and Zach has finished school. Some Exams coming up. Mango has had a summer haircut and is very pleased with himself. He looks like a wee bear cub.
My tomatoes are growing well at least three trusses on most plants sometimes more.
Keep on swimming keep on swimming keep on swimming
If I was a painting..it would be one of myself in absence, represented by the things and people I love.
There would be some paintbrushes, a computer and a Bible. Tropical plants with bright flowers and wide leaves that capture rain would wind up the frame.
It would have hearts and cowboy boots.